Yesterday I was on a call discussing some design issues, and I noticed that I was getting a little bit frustrated with the way the call was going. I am not exactly sure why. Well, actually I think I know – it’s more of a style issue with the person leading then with his position on the argument.
Anyway during the middle of the conversation another participant sent me an instant message which said “You sound angry”.
ARGH.
I hate that. I didn’t want to be angry. I had just read the first chapter of James, where he talks about being slow to anger. I had no reason to be be angry. For the most part is was just a conversation about ideas. And I didn’t really feel that angry – but it was coming on out!
Later in the day I was reminded of this quote from C.S. Lewis
Provocation doesn’t make me ill-tempered: it only shows me how ill-tempered I am
Fitting.
and disappointing.
and well, provoking.
I spent the rest of the day with that heavy ache in the pit of your stomach when you know that you were not doing the right thing. Luckily I get a new day today to have another go at it. That’s why I love grace.
Maybe one day it will change my temperament!
31 Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. 32 Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you! Ephesians 4:31-32